Bride or “Mistress”? Which one are You?

I don't know about you but when I really care about someone, I talk about them all the time. Their name is constantly on my lips and I am always telling everyone who cares to listen, just how fantastic they are! I want to stay in touch with them all the time and am so grateful for the fact that I live in this modern age of hi-tech communications. What would I do without the ability to phone my darling hubby when he is far away (which he often is), or video-call my precious step-daughter on the other side of the world, or send text messages to friends and all the countless other methods we have of communicating. Don't you feel like that? Can you remember when you first fell in love? Didn't you want to tell everyone about this fantastic person you were convinced that the sun rose and set on? How about your first child? Certainly he/she is the most beautiful baby that has ever been born? Grandchildren? You get the picture?

Have you ever had an affair or known someone who has? Imagine what it must be like to sneak around and never be able to tell anyone about this person you love so much, never to be able to include them in those special family events or to meet in public places in case you get seen by someone who knows you. I can only presume that affairs never last because they are nothing but a pile of messy frustrations and unfulfilled dreams. They are doomed from the outset because they are selfish, hurtful, underhand relationships with no future to build on. An affair may stroke an ego or satisfy a desire but it is shallow and stagnant as opposed to a marriage which is like a river, filled with life, growth and movement. A marriage, like a river, may have its rocky and turbulent places, but it has direction and purpose.

The point I am trying to make is are you "married" to Jesus Christ, or just having a "fling on the side" with Him? Do you want to communicate with Him and praise Him all the time? Do you have a desire to show or tell everyone what He has done in your life and is still doing or do you keep your relationship with Him a secret? Are you living your life in a way that gives glory to Him, regardless of whether or not it makes you popular, or are you living to please your peers? Do you keep your relationship with Christ a secret and only make it to Church if there is nothing else happening on your social calendar? Do you laugh at the odd "dirty joke" so that people don't think you're a prude, maybe even tell one of your own? I could list a thousand other things that society finds acceptable and normal but that Christ would condemn and any true follower of Christ would not participate in.

A person who truly loves Christ cannot live in a way that is not pleasing to Him. Their desire is to praise Him and to pray, to serve Him by doing His works, being His hands and feet and spreading the news about what He has done for each and every one of us! To do this you don't have to become a missionary and travel to some foreign place, you can do all of that right in your own home or workplace. You can smile at a stranger, hold the lift door for someone, speak kindly to your employees, listen to a colleague who is having a bad time or provide a meal for a family in need. Of course there are a multitude of other things you can do, big or small, but it so often is the little things that count. Let your relationship with Jesus show in the way you conduct your life. Let the joy of knowing that the Creator loves you spill over and touch the lives of others so that they too want to know and experience His love in their lives!

So ask yourself, are you a loving "bride", pure in your love and commitment to Christ, or is your relationship a well kept secret?

Turn Times of Doubt into Times of Strength

We all have doubts at some time or the other. We generally doubt ourselves more than anyone else, but it just takes one disappointment, one situation or relationship going sour, and we begin to doubt God. When things seem to go contrary to what we are wanting, loved ones fall ill or betray us, or a countless other host of circumstances, the first one we throw all our doubts onto is God.

Personally, I think this is crazy! Not that I have never had doubts, far from it. In the depths of depression, God was the first one I doubted and blamed! No, the reason I say this is crazy, is because God is the only one that we can depend on. When I was circling down into the abyss of depression, feeling that I was unloved and unlovable, that I was a waste of a human skin who was of no earthly use for anything, that is when God was able to reach through to me, and convince me that He did have a plan and a purpose for my life and that He does love me.

When we are faced with a tough situation, a betrayal, or anything else that turns our world upside down, that's when we should be turning to God. He doesn't mind if we doubt Him as it opens the door for further conversation with Him and fresh opportunities for Him to work in your life and to show you that you can depend on Him. Give Him the chance to strengthen you, to renew your faith and to demonstrate His unfailing love. You will find, as you spend more time with Him, on your knees, a peace and inner joy that will permeate your soul and give you the courage and the ability to get through whatever difficulties you are facing. God allows us to go through these hard times because it is only when we are 'beaten' that we can be re-shaped and re-worked into a stronger, more faith-filled follower of Christ. Remember that He is ultimate truth and ultimate love and He loves us completely, therefore, we can trust Him over and above anyone or anything else.

 

A Trouble Shared

Philippians 4:13-14 'I can do everything through Him who gives me strength. Yet it was good of you to share in my troubles.' How many times have we heard just verse 13 quoted – with emphasis on the first few words "I can do everything". We are all so guilty of keeping the emphasis on verse 13 and completely ignoring verse 14. God has promised us that He will strengthen us and be with us through life's difficulties, but God has also created us to be in relationship both with Him and with each other. He has given us gifts that are only of any use when they are used for someone else's benefit; teaching, encouraging, hospitality, etc., are all pretty useless if they are not used for someone else's benefit!

The old saying "a trouble shared is a trouble halved" is true. The problem may still be your full responsibility, but by discussing it with someone (particularly someone close to you), you no longer feel so alone and you are able to get a different perspective on it, perhaps even some advice. By allowing someone to be a part of your problem, you are also allowing them to possibly fill a role that God had for them. Their role in helping you through your difficulty may be something that they have to grow through as well. Part of God's purpose for their lives and possibly for yours as well, could be the whole reason that you are going through that particular difficulty.

This doesn't mean that we must now start dumping our problems on everyone else! Not at all! With a little bit of discernment and wisdom you will know when and whom to share your problems with and to what degree! Just understand though, that God will often send someone to help you, it may be a stranger or someone close to you, but the thing is to accept the help that comes your way and not deny the person the opportunity to walk beside you. When I had my hysterectomy last year, my step-daughter was able to come and spend over a month with me, seeing to my needs and running the household. In addition to me being blessed with all her help and her wonderful company, she was blessed (although I am sure not as much) by having the opportunity to spend time with her Dad, her step-brothers and her friends, that she would not otherwise have had before she left for a year in Japan!

Can We Understand God?

How many husbands do you hear saying "I just don't understand her!" when talking about their wives, and vice versa when us women talk about our husbands. We look at our teenage children and wonder what planet they came from and who they are! They certainly don't seem to be anything like the children we gave birth too!

Our lives are fraught with misunderstandings and the consequences that result from them. From something as simple as who was going to take out the trash, to larger problems which can result in major fights and sometimes even divorce. These misunderstandings also occur in the work place and in miscommunications between friends. We are constantly having to ensure that we understood exactly what was being communicated to us.

This lack of proper understanding of each other is even more evident between the different sexes. Countless books have been written about this age old problem, offering countless different methods of overcoming this problem. I am sure, however, that in the next year, another bestseller will hit the shelves proclaiming to providing the answer to these problems of misunderstanding and miscommunication.

Yet I cannot help but wonder if this inability to fully understand each other, all the time, is not part of God's plan for us? If we were able to comprehend exactly what our partner wanted to express, would we have a need for patience? Would we need to learn to exercise self-control? Perhaps if we were able to know exactly what was going on in each other's minds then there would be no enjoyment in learning the mysteries that make up the psyche of each individual. Having a relationship with someone requires effort. We cannot be friends with someone without first extending a hand to them and drawing them into the circle of our lives. By doing this we are saying that there is something about them that makes them attractive to us and that we want to spend time with them. We then have to build on that relationship – whether it is a friendship or a more serious, more intimate relationship – it still needs to be developed and nurtured.

In the same way we have to understand that our relationship with God is the same. We cannot know His mind, why He does things the way He does, or even how He did them. We cannot even understand His heart. What we can know, if we are willing to enter into a relationship with Him, is that He does love us! Despite our sins, irrespective of our talents and abilities, our financial situation or our physical appearance, God does love us! Why He loves us exactly is a mystery! We are after all, a pretty miserable bunch! He gave us the Earth to look after, and we've trashed it; He instructed us to love each other and yet we are constantly at war; He asks us only to love Him in return, of our own free will, and yet we deny His existence and take more notice of the theories of crackpots rather than accept His word in the message of love (the Bible) that He has left for us! But still we want to understand God when we cannot even understand each other?

I am sure that if you were to ask any couple who have been married for a number of decades if they fully understand their spouse their answer will be No. Does this mean that they don't love them or that they are unable to accept that their partner loves them back? Of course not! They would not still be in a relationship if that were the case. Do you understand that your friends are your friends because there is a heart connection between you that does not depend on full understanding of each other and also an acceptance of the fact that you may at times disagree with each other? Of course you do! So why do we find it so hard to extend the same attitude towards God? The fact of that matter is that God is way bigger than our understanding. All we can do is accept His love, His mercy and His grace. He offers us a free gift of salvation, an eternity spent with Him, and all He asks is that we believe!! That is so amazing, so incredibly mind-blowing! A mustard seed size of faith and belief is all that is required and we get so much!

All I can say is, I don't understand it! Not at all! But I don't understand my husband, children or friends all the time either. I am not going to tell them that I do not want a relationship with them because I don't understand them; nor am I ever going to tell God that I don't want to be in relationship with Him because He is beyond my comprehension. No! Instead I am going to revel in the fact that my great big, incomprehensible God loves me, died for me and wants a relationship with me! Little old me! Now that is AWESOME!